- "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball." --HFB instructions
- "Never laugh at live dragons." --Tolkien
- "Stupid people do stupid things. Smart people outsmart each other, then themselves." --System of a Down
- "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." --Hanlon's razor
- "The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum." --O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law [of Dynamic Negatives]
- "The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing." --Cole's Axiom
- "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." --Clarke's Third Law
- "Even the samurai have teddy bears, and even the teddy bears get drunk." --unknown
- "Men have to make love to feel loved. Women have to feel loved to make love." --Billy Connolly
- "Reality is so transitory." --Johan
- "Who the hell you callin' crazy? You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eatin' Fruit Loops on your front porch." --Suicidal Tendencies
- "I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated." --Poul Anderson
- "Think! It ain't illegal yet." --George Clinton
- "Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you." --unknown
- "The lesson we learn too late is that we cannot have only by wanting." --M. John Harrison _A Young Man's Journey to London_
- "Is there anything of yours that we can keep as a memento of this visit? ... Take California." --propellerheads
- "Unknown airport with Cessna 150 circling overhead, identify yourself." --lost student pilot
- "How do you make a small fortune in race cars? ... Start out with a large one." --Briggs Cunningham
- "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." --Mark Twain
- "Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy." --Charlie McCarthy
- "All I know is that I don't know nothin'" --Operation Ivy
- "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." -- Matt Groening
- "Dawn, n.: The time when men of reason go to bed." --Ambrose Bierce _The Devil's Dictionary_
- "All true stories end in death." --Hemingway
- "How can this be safe?" --Todd (while riding the Grizzly at Kings Dominion)