Things my dog has eaten or otherwise seriously damaged.

• a Rush DVD box set ("Live in Rio")
• 6 sofa cushions
• an entire bunch of bananas (at once) [she's done this three times now]
• a 96 year-old upright piano (not the whole thing, obviously)
• a 96 year-old piano stool (the legs, mostly)
• an aluminum garden sprinkler
• two AOL CDs (good girl!)
• the dust cover for "Quicksilver"
• something I could never identify once made of wood
• pens, pencils and magic markers... many
• all the plastic bits to a coin rolling machine
• a good chunk of the wall in the upstairs hallway (she was mad at the wallpaper, I understand)
• some sea-shells
• a pair of combat boots
• a photo album, full of photos
• a pair of black Levi's
• a few cardboard boxes
• two DirecTV remotes
• a Playstation2 controller
• a candle
• a paper-weight full of billions of grains of black sand, very fun to clean up
• some plastic vacuum cleaner accessories
• the main barrel of a Lego tank
• a pile of cat vomit (yum!)
• one Converse Chuck Taylor. size 12, black.
• a really nice coffee table book from the Grand Canyon
• a plastic dust pan and matching broom
• Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary, hardcover
• half a large bag of Snyder's Sourdough Hard Pretzels (in one sitting)
• cicadas. lots of cicadas.
• a razor-sharp steak knife, ate around the blade, consumed the wooden handle, lucky dog. how she got the knife, I'll never know.
• a groundhog (a rather unpleasant discovery)
• cardboard. anything made of cardboard. cardboard from the trash appears to be the best stuff.
• a steady supply of plush "dog toys" from the local pet shop. the ones that squeak, squawk or otherwise emit some really annoying sound are preferred. this is a habit I was hoping to avoid, but it cuts down on the consumption of non-dog-toys, or so I tell myself. I guess that's a good business to be in, selling things which you know for a fact will be destroyed in short order for about $15 a pop. I'm a sucker. I also have to wonder if I am in fact training my dog to attack on sight anything small, furry and making any kind of noise.

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